Unfortunately,I haven't had time to make a new prose. Ideas came up though. But I just didn't manage to sit and write everything down, and spend 3-4 hours writing. Or maybe I'm just plain tamad. Haha.
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Instead,I decided to write something about how I decided to finally lose weight. It's been a touchy topic for me, I admit. Since for about 4 years now (since I graduated actually), it's been a downhill ride from a normal body figure to my chubby bordering on obese exterior at present.
In GMA 7, stress was high and contiguous I reverted to eating as my soothing tool, my massage therapy, my stress-reliever. And when people started telling me, "Uy tumataba ka na...", I didn't believe them.
Why? Because I thought I was chubby my whole life! At home, my brothers call me "baboy" or tabaching (but now I realize, they did that just to piss me off, kahit na I wasn't really fat that time). In college, some of my block mates teased me for being chubby. So I thought my colleagues in GMA were just echoing my brothers and college friends' teasing.
Come the job at Solar Entertainment, Antipolo. As I commuted to uphill Sumulong day after day, as if the ride had an effect on my body mass, my appetite grew and my weight came up-- gradually. Again, when office mates teased me, I didn't pay attention at all! I thought being chubby and being teased was normally me.
What made me even think or consider that I was actually getting fatter and fatter was when I had a severe back ache I couldn't even get up from bed. My office mate told me it must be my body's way of telling me it can't handle my heaviness any longer.
To add, my mom told me how my Auntie Bebe suffered because of her obesity. She was suffering from diabetes, heart ailment, high blood, and weak legs just before she died. And she didn't want me to experience that.
I remember my boyfriend often told me, "baby, diet not because of me, or because your friends are teasing you. Do it for you."
And he's right. When you decide to diet for other people, more often than not it doesn't work. You end up going back to zero. I know, because I've been there.
But when you decide you're going to do it for yourself, because you love yourself. Then that does the trick. From that conviction alone, there's no going back to eating non-stop and saying no to exercise.
For me, it came more visually, though.
My boyfriend and I were at the mall when I saw this cute girl window-shopping in a V-neck lined white and green dress. She wasn't slim, in fact, she has shapely voluptuous body, but she looked so sexy, so free and so happy in her fresh sun dress. I like dresses, I would love to wear a dress but never dared not because I didn't have the guts, but I didn't have the confidence. If I wear one, I know I want to be comfy and as happy as the window-shopping girl.
I told myself, "My gosh, I want to look good and feel good in that dress too..."
And that was then that I decided for myself-- Alina, it's time to D-I-E-T or to D-I-E.
Now, I don't claim to be an expert.
I started dieting last Christmas Vacation, December 29. And it's been down to 10 pounds since then. More disciplined and determined people could've beaten that. But still and all, I'm very proud.
It's a day until March, the brink of summer. God knows I may never wear a bikini. But I look forward to a smaller weight and a better, healthier body in the coming months.
(after and before.haha,parang print ad lang for lesofat or xenical. lol. yung 2nd pic was taken at solar Antipolo Xmas Party)
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