More than 5 years, But Still Head over Heels

I remember my Photography professor shared an amusing and a bit mushy anecdote about how he realized, "This is it, I'm not only in love, but I deeply, wholly love this girl..she's the one." For my professor, it was all thanks to onions.

He was chopping onions to cook dinner for his girlfriend, admitting he was trying to impress this girl even though he had never cooked all his life. While chopping religiously, his eyes began to water. It didn't take long for his vision to blur as one tear followed after another. My professor began to sniff. While rubbing his eyes, his girlfriend gently removed his hand and dabbed a handkerchief to wipe his tears. The girl whispered, giggling, "Tahan na." It was then, at that moment, he knew this girl was the one he'd love for the rest of his life.

I never forgot that story. More than amused, I was touched. When you realize you are truly in love, it's always not in a grandiose, obvious way. No candle-lit dinners and parading under the stars. No dancing on a rooftop and a room full of roses. Or an orchestra playing your favorite song while you dine in fancy restaurant. I've always believed in those kinds of moments -- small ones that are unexpected, understated and yet, magical. Trust me, I'm not a hopeless romantic, but a realistic, keep-my-feet-on-the-ground kind of girl.

For me, it happened one night in 2009 during the U.P. Fair. Every year, my boyfriend and I made it a point to attend the fair, even just for one day. That week, I was suffering a recurring back ache due to so much stress at work. But to hell with my back ache, nothing could stop me from going! There's the sunken garden grass to lie on anyway. But two bands into the fair, my back ached so much I could even feel the throb when I'm lying down or leaning on Sam's back. Sam wanted to go to the hospital, but I insisted just a bed rest will do.

That night, I slept over at his house that was near UP. My back ache was far from leaving me alone. It was too painful I had to stifle my cries -- "Hindi ko to kaya." Sam lied down beside me and massaged my back, using cantor oil to relieve the pain. His mouth on my ear, he shushed me, whispering over and over, "I'm just here, baby." He massaged and soothed me for hours until finally, the pain was gone and I fell asleep.

I was blinded and numbed by so much pain that night. But there was that short moment, a fraction of a minute, that I saw myself with him for the rest of my life.

Earlier today, Sam and I went to the mall to watch a movie, shop, and eat. I'm not as conscious as before of how I acted when I'm with him. But mostly, I remember feeling happy. And the details I often forget. Today, Sam said something amusing:

Sam: "Bakit ganito tayo no?"

Alina: "Paanong ganito? Pano ba tayo?"

Sam: "Wala, ang sweet pa rin natin, para tayong bagong magsyota."

I don't know for others who are in a five-year relationship, but Sam actually has a point. A good, happy point. Again, at that moment, I felt the hair at the nape of my neck tingle, and my chest filled with....I don't know, something like air, with a hundred butterfly wings flapping.

It's amazing how we've been together for more than five years, but we're still head over heels.

To the love of my life Sam (you might never read this as you never read my blog (I know how much you dislike blogs), but I just want to put on record...that I love you so much. Never doubt that.

Short Walks From Masscom to Palma Hall.

When I entered UP, one of the things I looked forward to were the boys. I thought, thank God, after meeting stupid boys in High school, I'll finally meet substantial ones in college and who knows, I might fall in love.

(Long Pause)

(the fan whirs, the floorboards creak, the sun sets)

Okay, so no one came. So a year before graduation, I have already resigned and accepted maybe I'll meet HIM at the work place.

But I guess God is such a good dramatist and story-teller. 'Cause for some unexplainable reason, YOU came into my life.

And because God mastered that in literature, the protagonist has to work his/her butt off, to get his/her happy ending, he decided....well, Alina, I won't make this easy for you.

So at first, as in all love stories, we meet. You were a Philosophy Major, a 'tambay' in AS/Palma Hall-- a heart throb, as cool as ice. I was a Film Major in Mass Com-- student council leader, running for honors, a real stuck-up.

I was domineering and had a strong personality.
You were passive, almost shy.

You were a bassist and a member of a band.
I was a singer and a member of a band/duo called AlinaNaiba.

You thought Paola Peralejo (my classmate then in Mandarin 100) was over-rated and bitchy.
I blushed when you said I'm prettier than her.

We were JUST ORGMATES. But it was a real blessing we were under the same committee. Cause otherwise, what could be our excuse for talking on the phone late at night? We were discussing layouts and copies of publicity materials, but deep inside, we wanted to know how many siblings we have, our birth dates, our interests, our crushes...

I remember now, vividly, our shorts walks from Masscom to Palma Hall. I remember deliberately trying to walker slower just to spend more time with you. I don't know if you noticed I often tied my shoe laces.

I waved a shy goodbye every time I was about to go to the third floor for my Chinese class. You said "ingat!" as you went back to your tambayan on the 2nd floor.

January 2005-- God decided it was time for the REAL DEAL. Sitting on a new sofa in Masscom, we confessed what we felt for each other. Then again, the Lord said liking each other wasn't enough for love. In the end, you told me we met too late 'cause your heart already belonged to someone else.

My heart bled.

That night, we walked together to the IKOT jeep terminal near Masscom. You bid a silent goodbye as I got inside the jeepney. You turned and walked away, as the jeep drove ahead. Please look, I muttered, please...just glance so I know I still have a chance...WE still have a chance.

But you walked straight ahead. I blinked back tears. It was the longest ikot jeep in my life.

Depression came. That included crying to five different people in a day. Staring off into space during thesis shoots. Writing poems, writing a song about you (which became a famous song by the way- Eyeliner sung by Armi Millare)

And just when I was already moving on, God made the unexpected happen. He let us meet again and made us feel something. That maybe, we can work it out. He might be the one. She might be the one. God gave our love story another chance.

I held my own, passed the test and got my happy ending.

Now, we're four years and counting, baby.

Up to now, I feel mesmerized by you. As if we just confessed to our crushes, as though we had our first kiss.

But it hasn't been a smooth-sailing ride. We've been through a lot. But the important thing is....we made it. There are more challenges to come. I'm sure we're all the more stronger for them.

From being strangers, to romantic partners, we've become the best of friends.

Alina and Sam. Sam and Alina. I can't imagine life without you.

Thank you so much for your unconditional love.

Happy 27th birthday!